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That day, that goal, that prodigy.
The Tunisian is called Ali Bin Nasser and, while others run, he walks slowly. He is forty-two years old and ashamed: he knows that he will never be called again to referee an official match between nations. He also knows that if twelve years earlier, when he was injured in the Tunisian league, he had been told that he would be in a World Cup, he would not have believed it. Nor would he have believed it the afternoon he became a referee. After all, in Tunisia you only need to have the same number of legs as lungs to get the job.
But when he officiated his first match, he discovered that he would be a proper referee. And it was more than that: he managed to become the first football referee to be recognised on the streets of his city. He was called up for the 1984 African qualifiers and his judgment proved to be so good that a year later he was called up to command in a World Cup.
In Mexico he was asked for autographs, had pictures taken with him and slept in the most luxurious hotel. He had successfully refereed the Poland-Portugal match in the group stage, and watched the left half in a Denmark-Spain match where the Danes played the whole second half with a high-line; he didn't make a single mistake when he raised his flag.
When the organisers informed him that he would be directing a quarterfinal - no Tunisian judge had ever come this far - Ali called home from the hotel, with reverse charge, told it to his father and both cried.
That night he slept through hot flashes and had two dreams of ridicule. In the first dream he twisted his ankle and had to be replaced by the fourth referee; in the dream, the fourth referee was his mother. In the second dream a fan jumped onto the field, pulled down his pants and he was left with his genitals hanging out in front of the world's televisions.
From each dream he woke up with his heart beating. But he never dreamed, during the eve, of validating a goal scored with a hand. He did not dream that, in Tunisian street slang, his name would become an humorous metaphor for blindness. That's why he's now refereeing the second half of that match with a desire to see it end soon.
Around the field, one hundred and fifteen thousand people follow the player's movements but only two, those closest to the scene, can prevent his advance.
Their names are Peter: Raid one, Beardsley the other. Both were born in the north of England, one in the riverbed and the other at the mouth of the River Tyne; they both had, a few years earlier, a son whom they named Peter; they both divorced their first wife before travelling to Mexico; and they are both convinced, at the thirteen hours, twelve minutes and twenty-one seconds, that it will be easy to take the ball away from the Argentinian player because he received it with his weak foot and there are two of them: one at his front and the other at his back.
They don't know that, a decade later, Peter Raid Jr. and Peter Beardsley Jr. will be friends, they will be fifteen and sixteen years old and they will be dancing at a London rave.
A Scotsman named O'Connor - who will later become a screenwriter for comedian Sacha Baron Cohen - will recognize them and, in the middle of the dance, will dodge them with a feint and a dribble. He will do it once, twice, three times, imitating the dance move that now, ten years before, the Argentine player practices on his parents.
Raid Jr. and Beardsley Jr. will not get the joke, so other rave participants will join O'Connor's mockery and a loop of dancers will form, in the form of a human train, dodging the boys in two stages. Peter Raid Jr. will be the first to understand the taunt, and will tell his friend, "It's because of our parents' video, the one from Mexico 86".
Peter Beardsley Jr. will make a gesture of humiliation and the two friends will escape from the party, chased by dozens of boys who will shout, in chorus, the name of the player who ten years ago, right now, is running away from his parents with a move of his waist.
Soon Raid Sr. and Beardsley Sr. will stop chasing the player: it will be the job of other teammates to try to stop him. They now remain frozen in the middle of a tape that time turns, in slow motion, from VHS to Youtube.
Now their children are five and six years old and will not remember seeing the player's dribble directly, but in their early teens they will see it a thousand times on video and will no longer have any respect for their parents.
Peter Raid and Peter Beardsley, still in midfield, don't know what exactly has happened in their lives to make it all fall apart.
When the ball crosses the chalk line, the player has covered ten of the fifty-two meters he will walk and has taken eleven of the forty-four steps he will have to take.
At thirteen hours, twelve minutes and twenty-three seconds of midday shouts of astonishment come down from the stands and the asses of the radio announcers come off the seats in the transmission cabins: the free space that the player has just found on the right side, after the double dribble and his stride, makes everybody understand the danger.
Everybody except Kenny Sansom, who appears behind the two Peter's and chases the player with a parsimony that seems to be from another sport. Sansom accompanies the Argentinian player without despair, as if he was taking a young son for his first bike ride.
"You looked like if you were playing in training, for fucks sake," manager Bobby Robson tells him two hours later in the dressing room. "That wasn't you," his half-brother Allan will tell him a year later, both drunk, in a pub in Dublin.
Kenny Sansom will rewind the video a thousand times in the future. He'll see his lazy step, almost a trot, as the player slips away.
He will start, in November of that year, to have problems with gambling and alcohol. In the tabloids he will be nicknamed "White" Sansom because of his fondness for white wine.
His only friend from the golden age will be Terry Butcher, perhaps because both will share the same traumatic experience.
Butcher is the one who now, when the radio reporters and spectators in the stands are still standing, throws a failed tackle at the player advancing on his sideline. Butcher will chase the player madly and throw a second kick, this time with a murderous intent, in the apex of the small box.
Terry Butcher will also never overcome the ghost of those ten seconds at the Mexican midday. "He only dribbled the rest of my teammates once, but he dribbled me twice, the little bastard," he will tell the press many years later, with his eyes glazed over.
Kenny Sansom and Terry Butcher will never return to Mexico, not even to the tourist beaches far from Mexico City. In the future, without children or stable partners, they will have as a hobby (at almost sixty years old each) to get together to drink whisky on Thursday nights and invent new insults against the Argentinian player who now, unmarked, enters the big box with the ball stuck to his feet.
Enrique doesn't know it yet, but he will take part in a World Cup again, 24 years later and on African soil. He will be part of the coaching staff of a manager who, fatter and older, will have the same face as the young man who now runs in a zigzag. And he will end his career even further, in the United Arab Emirates, back on the right side of the player who, two seconds ago, was given a pass to the wrong foot.
For many nights in the future, in a strange country where women have to sit in the back seat of cars, Enrique will wonder what would have happened if, instead of that bad delivery, he had given the ball to Jorge Burruchaga, his second choice.
Burruchaga is the one who now runs parallel to the player through the midfield. It's the thirteen hours, twelve minutes and twenty-four seconds and he's convinced that the player will give him the pass before entering the box, that he's just taking the defenders away to leave him alone in front of the three posts.
Burruchaga runs and looks at the player; with a body gesture he tells him "I'm free in the middle" and while he waits for the pass in vain he doesn't know that one day, some years later, he will accept a bribe in the French league and will be punished by the International Federation. Another misplaced delivery. But he, frozen in the present, still runs and waits for the pass that never comes.
Days later he will score the decisive goal of the final, but the world will only have eyes and memory for another goal. Year after year, tribute after tribute, his will not be the one most admired.
One night, Burruchaga will call to Saudi Arabia to talk with his friend Hector Enrique, and he will lament, a little jokingly, a little seriously, that goal scored by someone else that overshadowed the decisive goal of the final. Then Enrique will see a sandstorm out the window and, without intending to, will make him smile. "That goal wasn't so great," he'll say, "I gave him the pass, if he didn't scored it, it was to kill him".
The advance seems fast by an optical illusion, but the player regulates the rhythm, slows down and deceives. There is a secret geometry to the precision of that zigzag, a rigour that would have been broken by a change in the wind or the reflection of a wristwatch from the stands.
Terry Fenwick thinks about the variables of randomness as he showers crestfallen after defeat. Especially in one, the least far-fetched.
Before the game, Fenwick advised his manager Bobby Robson that it would be best to give the opposing player a man-to-man marking. Bobby responded that the marking would be zonal, as in previous games.
What would have happened if Robson had listened to him? asks himself Terry Fenwick, naked in the solitude of the dressing room, with water hitting his temples.
Right now, at thirteen hours, twelve minutes and twenty-six seconds of midday, he sees the player arrive with the ball dominated; he thinks he's going to pass it into the centre of the box. Fenwick thinks the same as Burruchaga, he leans his whole body on his right leg to avoid the pass and leaves the left flank unlocked. The player, with a small jump, enters then through the free space, steps on the box and finds the three posts.
"Fuck", Terry Fenwick told the press in 1989, "he ruined my career in four seconds". Two years after the outburst, in 1991, Fenwick will spend four months in prison for drunk driving. He will say, by the middle of the next decade, that he would not shake hands with the Argentinian player if he saw him again.
At the same period, one of his daughters will turn eighteen. During the party, Terry Fenwick will find her kissing an Argentinian on a beach in Trinidad. He will recognize the boy's identity because of a blue and white jersey with the number ten on the back. Fenwick does not know it yet, but in his old age he will be coaching an unknown team called "San Juan Jabloteh" in Trinidad and Tobago, a country that played only one World Cup, but has beaches.
Fenwick will get drunk every day on the sand of those beaches. On the afternoon of his daughter's meeting with the Argentinian, he'll want to get close to the boy and beat him. The Argentinian will make a gesture to go out to the left and then escape to the right. Fenwick, again, will eat the feint.
There is one opponent breathing at his neck on his right, Terry Butcher; another on his left, Glenn Hoddle, prevents him from giving the ball to Burruchaga; Fenwick has recovered from the feint and now covers the possible pass backwards, and at the front, goalkeeper Peter Shilton closes into him from the near post.
The north, south and east are closed to any manoeuvres. It is now thirteen hours, twelve minutes and twenty-seven seconds. Three more hours in Buenos Aires. Six more hours in London.
In any city in the world, at any time of the day or night, trying to get a shot on goal in the middle of that mess of legs is impossible, and the one who knows it best is Jorge Valdano, who arrives alone, very alone, on the left.
No one notices Valdano's existence, neither now in the box nor during primary school, in Santa Fe's town of Las Parejas.
Jorge Valdano sat reading novels by Emilio Salgari while his classmates played football during breaks, swirling around behind the ball. Football seemed like a basic game to him at the age of nine, but something happened to him at eleven: he understood the rules and knew, without surprise, that the other kids didn't practice it with intelligence.
He began to play with them and, while the rest chased the ball without strategy, he moved around the sidelines looking for the geometry of the sport.
And he was good. He played for two clubs in the town and was soon called from Rosario to play for Newell's youth teams; he made his debut in the Argentinian first division before he was eighteen. At twenty he was a world-youth champion in Toulon. At twenty-two he had already played for the senior national team.
But in those dizzying years he never loved the sport above all. If he was given a choice between a game among friends or a good novel, he always chose the book.
Until that moment in his thirties, Valdano was not sure he had chosen his true vocation. That's why now, as he waits for the pass, he finally feels that this could be his destiny, that perhaps he has come into the world to touch that ball and place it in the net.
He knows that the player's only option is to pass to the left. He has no other choice. As he steps into the box he thinks: "If he doesn't give it to me, I'll leave everything and become a writer."
But the player enters the box without looking at him. Neither Butcher, Fenwick, Hoddle nor Shilton are aware of him. Not even the cameraman, who follows the play with zoom, can pick him out in time. In the video, Valdano is a ghost who only shows his full body when the ball is in the apex of the small box. Jorge Valdano does not know it yet, but at the end of that tournament he will start writing short stories.
But the goalkeeper, the guardian, the goalie, the keeper (like Lucifer's, their names are endless) can touch the ball with his hands.
The goalkeeper is an anomaly, an exception capable of undoing with his hands the best acrobatics that other men do with their feet. And until that day no outfield player had ever managed to repay that affront at a World Cup.
So now, when the player steps into the box and looks into the eyes of goalkeeper Peter Shilton (grey shirt, white gloves) he understands the hate in the Englishman's eyes.
Half an hour earlier, the Argentinian had avenged every attacker in the history of football: he had scored a goal with his hand. The strikers's palm had arrived before the goalkeeper's fist. In the rules of football this action is forbidden, but in the rules of another game, more inhumane than football, justice had been done.
That is why, at this crucial moment in history, at thirteen hours, twelve minutes and twenty-nine seconds, Peter Shilton knows he can get revenge. He knows full well that it is in his hands to disrupt the greatest goal of all times. He needs to do it, moreover, to return to his country as a hero.
Shilton was born in Leicester, 36 years before that Mexican midday. Already a living legend, he didn't need to make it to his first and last World Cup to prove it.
He doesn't know it yet, but he'll be playing professionally until he's forty-eight. In the future, he will play the leading role in many unforgettable saves which, added to those of the past, will make him the greatest English goalkeeper.
However (and he doesn't know this either) in the future there will be an encyclopedia, more famous than the Britannica, that will say about him: "Shilton, Peter: English goalkeeper who received, on the same day, the goals known as 'the hand of God' and 'of the century'.
That will be his karma and it's better that he doesn't know it, because he's still looking into the eyes of the approaching Argentinian player and he's covering his left post like his teachers taught him. He believes Terry Butcher can make it in time with the final tackle. "Maybe this will end in a corner," he thinks. "Maybe I can reach the ball with my fingertips."
Nor does he know that two years later a video game with his name will be released in Great Britain, entitled "Peter Shilton's Handball", or that his children will play it, in secret, during the 1992 holiday season.
It is better that he does not know the future now, because he must decide, right now, what the next move of the player will be. And he decides: Shilton plays to the left, throws himself to the ground and waits for the left-footed shot across. The Argentinian, who does know the future, chooses to play to the right.
"Next time, don't shoot it across, you little fool, you'd better do feint to the goalie and go right."
He sees his brother's face with the light of the kitchen where the scene took place, he sees the mischief with which he was looking at him; he sees, behind the goal, a sign that says Seiko in white letters on a blue background; he sees the green painted nails of his first girlfriend, the day he met her, and he sees that same girl, now a woman, breastfeeding a child; he sees a deflated ball and he sees himself, at the age of nine, trying to dominate it; he sees his mother and father dragging, with effort, a huge kerosene can along a dirt road where it has rained; he sees a box in a locker room in La Paternal, which bears his name and surname in bright letters, he sees his adolescent pride when he first reads his name and surname at his locker; he sees a stadium, its wooden boards, and he also sees that one day the whole stadium, and not just the locker, will bear his name.
The Argentinian player has controlled the air in his lungs for nine seconds, and now he is about to release all the air in one breath.
Unlike all the opponents and teammates he has left behind, he can breathe with his left leg, and can also sense the future as he moves forward with the ball at his feet.
He sees, ahead of time, that Shilton will throw himself to the right; he sees Terry Butcher's murderous intention behind him, he sees himself, many years later, with a grandson in his arms, visiting the entrance of the Azteca Stadium where a bronze statue with no name stands: just a young player with a proud chest, a ball at his feet and a date engraved on the base: June 22, 1986; he sees a rave in London where two fifteen-year-old boys escape from a mocking crowd; he sees a shady apartment where there is only one table, two friends and a mirror on the table; he sees a girl on a tropical beach who lets herself be kissed by a boy wearing an Argentina shirt; He sees a swarm of journalists and photographers outside every airport, every terminal, every stadium and every shopping mall in the world; he sees a boy playing a video game in the city of Leicester while his brother watches through the window to make sure his father doesn't show up; he sees the body of an old man who died in Switzerland eight days before that midday, a man who also saw all the things in the world in a single moment.
He sees Fiorito at day; he sees Napoli at afternoon; he sees Barcelona at night.
He sees Boca's stadium about to burst and he's in the middle of the pitch but he doesn't have a ball on his feet but a microphone in his hand; he sees an old man at Carthage's airport, waiting for his son on the last flight from Mexico, to hug and comfort him; he sees a swollen ankle; he sees a Red Cross nurse, chubby and smiling; he sees all the goals he's scored and the ones he'll score; he sees all the goals he's shouted and the ones he'll shout; he sees himself, at fifty-three years old, watching from a balcony the world's final at the Maracaná; he sees the day when he will see his mother for the last time; he sees the night when he will see his father for the last time; he sees all his children's children grow up; he sees the pains of a woman who is about to give birth to a left-footed child in Rosario, one year and two days later than that Mexican midday; he sees a minimal, impossible, unreachable space between the right post and Terry Butcher's boot.
He closes his eyes. He lets himself fall forward, with his body bowed, and the whole world becomes silent.
The player knows that he has taken forty-four steps and twelve touches, all with his left foot. He knows the move will take ten seconds and six decimals. Then he thinks it is time to explain to everyone who he is, who he has been and who he will be until the end of time.
10,6 seconds by Hernan Casciari in "Messi is a dog & other football stories" (2016).
Practicing SR since July 2017; finally conquered Nocturnal Emissions for 3 Whole Months using Subliminals
Estimated Reading Time: 15 minutes
Brief summary of post:
- History of Journey
- Using Subliminals (affirmations converted into audio) to reprogram the subconscious, overcome nocturnal emissions, and turbo-charge the Law of Attraction
- Experience from meditation retreats
- Massive booklist covering psychotherapy, spirituality, and general books such as negotiating and advanced social skills
- Fundamental shifts that occurred
- Experiences with semen-retention benefits
- How I overcame and conquered negative entities
- Tantric meditation method that actually works with zero side effects
- Experience on speaking Japanese for 1 full hour with native speakers without notes after 3 months of learning
Wet dream/WD – sexual dream causing semen emission while sleeping
Nocturnal Emission/NE – semen emission occurring while sleeping even without dreaming
Semen-retention/SR streak – avoiding porn, masturbation, and ejaculation whether conscious or unconscious
Nofap Hardmode – avoiding porn, masturbation, and conscious ejaculation. Unconscious ejaculation/WD is considered fine.
As the title suggests, my current streak started in the middle of June 2017. Haven’t watched any porn or masturbated in 3 years. Experienced almost all the benefits such as massive attraction (men, women, children), an aura/energy surrounding me, enhanced charisma, less need for sleep, insane levels of energy, drive, and motivation, zero anxiety or fear, massive confidence occasionally bordering on arrogance, increased manifestation/LOA, people admiring/respecting me for no reason, online attraction, less procrastination, better athletic performance, greater creativity/intelligence, the desire to live a purposeful life, greater emphasis on spirituality, and much much more. Could probably write several posts just on the benefits themselves. Only thing that didn’t improve was my skin, which was later fixed using subliminals.
It’s been a long journey, so I’ll start with background information, and later elaborate on how I managed to go from nocturnal emissions every 5 days (avg) to having a perfect SR streak for 3 months.
Used to watch anime which led to hentai (2013), and eventually western/japanese porn. Don’t even bother to search these terms on Google. It’s not worth it. Thankfully, those days are long behind me. As a side-note, I discovered the nofap/semen-retention subreddit in November 2017. Didn’t even know about SR before that.
I was raised a Catholic in a fairly religious family. Always started various streaks, and eventually broke them due to boredom/emotional coping/curiosity about new videos. Thankfully, I got good grades, read books, and was interested in self-development, but all that time spent on porn was a complete waste. Assuming I spent at least 2 hours everyday for 4 years (1460 days), it amounts to 122 complete days or around 4 months in total. It’s pretty sad on reflection, but at least the experience is now absorbed, and I can write this post.
On June 2017, after summer break started and final exams were over, I decided to permanently quit this habit. Downloaded an application called Cold Turkey and completely blocked all websites I used to visit. Now use Leechblock, which is available on most browsers (also use it to block/restrict access to non-NSFW websites which impair productivity like ESPN). Started 30 minutes of daily meditation (mindfulness + metta). Still continue the habits to this day, although the length is increased to 1 hour. Read Mindfulness in Plain English by Bhante Gunaratana and Lovingkindness by Sharon Salzberg for instructions. Have re-read these books multiple times.
Mindfulness will allow you to be self-aware of your mental conditioning, while metta (feeling compassion for yourself, a friend, neutral person, and enemy) can remove thoughts of lust and fundamentally alter your mental programming. Compassion is a very powerful exercise. Read “The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion by Christopher Germer” while you’re at it and learn tonglen. All of these books contain zero fluff, and are invaluable reads.
Started drinking 16 glasses of water (thought it would help skin, but helped in other ways), and doing 100 pushups + 100 sit-ups everyday. Increased it to 200 pushups + 200 sit-ups after 1 month. After 2 months, I made a decent amount of gains (SR helps), and people started asking me workout tips and what gym I go to. Had a Kindle Paperwhite, which is frankly one of my most valued possessions. Still works perfectly fine after 5 years, and costs only $130. Buy one now. Read a lot of books mostly consisting of biographies/spirituality/practical social skills/800+ page novels for around 6 hours per day. Still try to read for at least 15 minutes/1 chapter even when extremely busy. Will post a small booklist at the end of this post.
You can upload books to it for free if you lack money. Visit (gen.lib.rus.ec), download the ebook in epub/mobi format, open it with Calibre (https://calibre-ebook.com/), and send it to Kindle using USB. Knowledge is an investment that produces continuous returns. Warren Buffett spends 80% of his time just reading! and takes action based on that knowledge.
Even managed to have the motivation to learn Japanese by joining a foreign language exchange website. People, especially women, accepted and sent a lot of invitations to have a conversation; didn’t realize online attraction was due to SR back then. None of us showed our faces, so my physical appearance had nothing to do with it. From experience, the best way to learn a language was to make a phrase sheet with the most common phrases/questions, such as “okay”, “that’s awesome”, “what is that word in English/Japanese?” Basically a human AI bot. Don’t waste time trying to learn how to write the alphabet, although my primary purpose was to learn how to speak. Google Translate is good enough to understand the pronunciation.
I learned Japanese primarily by watching Terrace House. First watched the episode with subtitles, then re-watched it without, while simultaneously writing all the connectives/conversational phrases. You can try unique methods to remember, but brute-force memorization/review worked the best. Never tried Anki since it was cumbersome to use.
For the accent, the best way is to watch Japanese people trying to speak English, and try to mirror their accent as much as possible. It honestly helps. After 3 months, I could have a full 1 hour conversation in Japanese with a native speaker without looking at any notes. I wasn’t “fluent” (still stuttered and made mistakes), but it was a huge amount of progress for starting from scratch. Eventually after 6 months, I gave up practicing/speaking the language. I was mainly trying to fulfill a childhood fantasy, and I’m glad I tried since I learned a lot from it and got to talk with interesting people. But in reality, I stopped watching anime, and honestly never needed to speak Japanese in real-life. Now I barely remember any of the words, except a few basic phrases. Could probably last 30 seconds of full conversation at best.
So, everything was going great until December 2017. During this time period, I probably had wet dreams/nocturnal emissions every 1 – 2 months. Barely felt much difference since there was a decent time interval between emissions. Drank 2 glasses of water everyday before bed, slept on my stomach, and ate spicy food (practices that cause nocturnal emissions), but was perfectly fine. However in December I started having emissions every 2 weeks. Initially didn’t care about it. In January it started happening every 1 week. Nothing really changed in my life during this time to cause emissions to increase. Then it started happening every 5 days, every 3 days, sometimes even 2 days in a row!
Most of you will have no idea how terrible it feels to be on top of the world, and then suddenly crash down. The difference between living life with/without SR benefits is night and day. Even after sleeping 10 hours, I used to feel completely exhausted. People ignored me, or worse started “joking” around me. Complete disrespect by friends, family, and acquaintances. No energy/motivation to do anything. Constant brain fog, could barely concentrate. Felt even worse than my porn days when I ejaculated everyday. Voice completely shot, started feeling anxious about oral presentations for no reason, when I always excelled. Felt like my soul was dying. Those were really dark times. People started saying I “changed”, and started pointing out and constantly magnifying my flaws. It’s strange how people exaggerate our skills/talents on SR, while they completely ignore them post WD/ejaculation, and focus only on your flaws/mistakes. It makes you lose trust in everyone around you, as if all of them are energy vampires who only like you due to SR.
I grew desperate. During this whole time I meditated, practiced no lust/no arousal as best as possible since July 2017, yet emissions increased massively in frequency. Some occurred due to sexual dreams, but most were nocturnal emissions. Thought I had a UTI at first, and went to a general practitioner. He didn’t seem very reliable, so I went to a prominent urologist. Did all sorts of tests, paid a good amount of money, and the doctor said everything was fine. Having nocturnal emissions every 5 days was perfectly normal at my age. Encouraged me to masturbate regularly if it became an inconvenience :)
So medical science obviously failed. Started following all the tips/methods in this subreddit, and believe me I tried almost everything no matter how uncomfortable or time-consuming. Omad, avoid food/water before bed, vegetarianism, tantric meditation, different diets, various sleeping positions, no/increased meditation before bed, no/more exercise, yogic exercises, qigong, some tips mentioned by Soaring Eagle, prayed to God. None of them worked. The only method I didn’t try extensively were kegels. Initially tried a normal + reverse kegel routine, then found an article by coincidence on this subreddit about someone who permanently damaged their penis from doing kegels. Immediately stopped, thank you to that person for sharing your experience. It’s as if the universe was looking out for me. Best to avoid such risky methods even if you’re desperate. Currently sleep on my back since it avoids any "accidental physical stimulation" from occurring.
So this nocturnal emission phenomena continued for over a year. Some methods worked better than others, while for some, I wasn’t sure if it was merely the placebo effect. In mid-2019 I came across subliminal videos (finally the good part!) on YouTube. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0W5AB1sGr0) This video explains it more thoroughly, but basically you convert affirmations (sentences like “I am happy/smart/handsome”) into audio using text-to-speech software and reprogram your subconscious mind. Tried a beauty subliminal (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEXaAsm-Iys) as a joke, but the next day I noticed changes in my facial structure. Listened for an hour the first day, which was easy given the music. You have no idea how amazing it feels to know that you can control your reality just by using your mind. Completely magical. Supposedly it works due to the Law of Attraction; you can find out more by reading/watching “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne, and later reading all the books by Neville Goddard. Started using a skin subliminal as well (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqi8Q80pspk and later moved onto https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=COxz8hvl14Y ), and now my skin is completely normal. Visited prominent US dermatologists, tried all sorts of acne medicine including Accutane, and even did SR, yet none of them worked. Skin was pretty terrible, and I was glad it got fixed. Took around 4 months of daily listening although it can be shortelonger depending on your belief, blockages, and levels of positivity. There’s a CIA document on holographic universes, astral projection, time travel, and psychic powers if you need scientific validation: https://www.cia.gov/library/readingroom/docs/CIA-RDP96-00788R001700210016-5.pdf
Disclaimer: Although there can be bad subliminal makers, they are very rare, and there has been only 2 of them in the history of the community. Someone named MindPower and Rose subliminals. The vast majority (99%) put positive affirmations. It’s best that you verify by checking all the comments, seeing their subscriber count, general personality, etc, but ultimately there’s no guarantee. The only way to make sure the affirmations are 100% positive and safe are to make them yourself or use a subliminal that blocks negative affirmations.
One thing to note is that physical change (biokinesis; search that term)/spiritual subliminals utilize the prana in your body to a certain extent to make changes. It makes sense since physical change is essentially a psychic poweenergy work. So your SR benefits/aura might temporarily decrease. Hydration is also recommended, and you will notice feeling thirsty. Personally drink 20 glasses of water everyday.
Obviously, my interest now turned towards using subliminals to cure nocturnal emissions. Unfortunately there’s a huge lack of subliminals regarding semen-retention or those targeted towards nocturnal emissions. Initially bought a subliminal using a paid request (you pay a subliminal maker for a specialized subliminal), but it didn’t work that well. Desired to be permanently free of nocturnal emissions, or at least reduce the frequency to once a month. So I decided to make my own subliminal. The affirmations will be posted below, and this is how I eventually cured my nocturnal emissions.
Steps on how to make your own subliminal:
- Write all the affirmations in a word document and save it.
- Download text-to-speech software like Balabolka and output the audio file in wav format (you want both uncompressed + lossless)
- Optional but recommended; download an audio editor like Audacity, and fast-forward the audio as much as possible using the “Change Tempo” effect. Personally I speed the audio to one second and then loop it 1000x. Continue the process as much as possible, but never make the audio length less than 1 second. Some subliminal makers make their subliminals even more powerful by creating multiple audio streams of their affirmations using different voices, merging all the voices together, and speeding them up. It’s called layering. Why super-sped affirmations work better can be somewhat explained by this article (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/sensorium/201812/experiments-suggest-humans-can-directly-observe-the-quantum), but science still doesn’t have all the answers. Will take time.
- Converting the affirmations to binary code (https://www.rapidtables.com/convert/numbeascii-to-binary.html) is a technique some subliminal makers use. Supposedly it penetrates the subconscious faster.
Listened to this personal subliminal for 1 hour everyday for an entire month. Still listen just to be safe. Took months of testing and editing affirmations to make it perfect. Experienced massive sexual dreams on certain days, more than normal, and found out that entities could be responsible. Try to avoid this subreddit as well, since reading the posts can trigger memories. More energetically sensitive now, and sometimes there’s a lot of low-vibrational energy. On a side-note, porn cripples your aura and invites negative entities (https://www.awakeningstaryoga.com/blog/expanding-away-from-porn-aura).
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMx69hgYq0s (morphic field)
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWK0D1g069I (powerful aura cleanse; Tibetan bowl sounds)
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7moRsibNyMA (reiki)
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NTmnrFzR0_Q (for spells, curses, black magic, etc)
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Kt9s5tY1YE (last resort)
Advice: Remember to immediately download any subliminal video you find that is useful in wav format (https://www.savethevideo.com/download). Subliminal channels are sometimes deleted by YouTube (spam filter) or the creators themselves.
Waited 3 whole months before deciding to make a Reddit post to make sure the method was 100% foolproof. Remember many people offering solutions in the past, yet 1 month later they would have another wd/nocturnal emission.
The first month there was a lot of fear. Will I have a wet dream/nocturnal emission tonight? Was so traumatized it was difficult getting to sleep every night. After the 2nd month, I experimented with sleeping on my stomach and eating/drinking before bed. Nothing happened. Stopped recently to stay careful.
After 2 years of suffering, this is a method that has worked. Try and see for yourself.
How do you feel now? Some days it’s meh (due to flatline) like today; on other days I feel divine. No idea why flatline still occurs. Have regained all the benefits, feel love and happiness all the time. Experience intense states of bliss in meditation more frequently, although it’s just a distraction.
Religiously/Spiritually I’ve moved from Christianity to Buddhism/Advaita Vedanta/parts of New Age. Found them more practical and useful in life. Was inspired to aim for spiritual enlightenment after reading “The 3 pillars of Zen” by Philip Kapleau. Read it, it might change your life.
Have attended a number of meditation retreats now, along with 10-day ones. Everyone reading this post should try it. Understood how much our mental programming defined us, and that we aren’t are thoughts. Our childhood traumas define so much of our habitual reactions. Realized its okay to feel bored rather than chasing after constant stimulation.
Even attended a Jhana retreat, which is exclusive for people who have attended prior retreats. Entered intense states of meditative absorption, understood the permeability/impermanence of reality, and had all sorts of mystical experiences. Experienced past lives; can confirm my mind did not make it up, since it’s an experience you can constantly replicate using the same methods. Before attempting such methods, you need to have the ability to sit down and meditate continuously for at least 3 hours. If you live in the US, attend IMS (Insight Meditation Society) or any prominent Vipassana/Theravada related retreat. Zen is a valid form of enlightenment, but it personally felt unstructured.
Gave up music, took time since I was convinced it was needed for creativity. Instead, it was just a substitute source of dopamine and a way to avoid my emotions. Have much less brain fog after quitting. Only communicate using regular phone calls these days, which no one uses, and Snapchat/WhatsApp for texting. Avoid stories, waste of time. Instagram/TwitteFacebook are a waste of time unless you are using it for business purposes. The only social media you really need is LinkedIn.
Women: You’ll learn more about them by reading romantic novels, Korean mangas, and watching Kdramas then reading all that seduction/red pill stuff. Focus on general charisma (men and women) instead of a specific gender. Read “The Charisma Myth” by Olivia Fox Cabane; it’s the most practical book on social skills I have ever read, and possibly the most life-changing as well. Teaches you self-awareness, applies Buddhist psychology to social interaction. Used to train executives in Google, read it now (and do all the exercises). The bibliography sent me on a rabbit hole that made me read ton of books on psychotherapy, meditation, mindfulness, and Buddhism; this was before SR. Inspired me to practice meditation, although the habit only became regular after SR.
Read books such as Crucial Conversations by Al Switzer, Difficult Conversations by Douglas Stone, How to Talk so Kids will Listen by Adele Faber (works very well in general since even adults have childhood programming, and can act like children), Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss (FBI's chief international hostage and kidnapping negotiator from 2003 to 2007), Getting More by Stuart Diamond (trains negotiators at Google), and Pitch Anything by Oren Klaff (more theoretical but useful). Also read The Definitive Book of Body Language by Allan Pease and What Every Body is Saying by Joe Navarro. These are all books that will greatly improve your human interactions and contain limited fluff. Have re-read all of these books in difficult times, and they have never let me down. You should read it as well. Even if you become a monk, there’s lots of social infighting even in monasteries. Highly-developed social skills are invaluable whenever you are dealing with individuals. Read “How to make friends and influence people” by Dale Carnegie once in a while, since most forget to apply his “basic” advice. Learned a lot about oral presentations by watching Alan Shore on Boston Legal (TV show).
Current position in life? Studying for a bachelor’s degree. My family is financially well-off, and my father is paying for my college tuition and dorm. Scholarships aren’t available for all income levels. Although I come from “privilege”, the above information can help anyone regardless of their financial position. We live in an era where information is accessible to all social classes, so excuses aren’t that relevant. If you’re practicing SR, you are already 20 steps closer to success. The tips above can be applied for free as long as you have a computesmartphone. Read books starting from today, knowledge is a source of power. People spend so much time reading the news, scrolling social media feeds, reacting to comments, chatting about useless things with friends, binging shows on Netflix, browsing YouTube/Reddit, that time quietly passes by. Time is the most valuable commodity you have; don’t waste such a limited resource on things that will contribute nothing towards your purpose in life. Once it’s spent, you can never get it back.
Personally, I schedule the next day before going to bed. Leisure, Reading, Schoolwork, Meditation, everything is mapped out perfectly. Try to eliminate habits that just waste time and stick to your schedule perfectly (working on it myself). If you feel tired after work/studying, take a nap or meditate instead of receiving even more stimulation from videogames, YouTube, or other artificial dopamine sources. Try NoSurf.
- The End of Your World by Adyashanti (fantastic writer; must-read if you have had an awakening experience or believe you are "enlightened")
- How to Attain Enlightenment -> The Essence of Enlightenment by James Swartz (best introduction to Advaita Vedanta I have read so far)
- I am That by Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
- In the Buddha's Words by Bhikkhu Bodhi (best introduction to Buddhist scripture)
- Why Buddhism is True by Robert Wright (secular perspective but informative; his previous book The Moral Animal is a good introduction to evolutionary psychology. Read this first if you are non-spiritual)
- Wisdom Wise and Deep by Shaila Catherine (comprehensive introduction by one of the best Jhana teachers in the US)
- Manual of Insight by Mahasi Sayadaw
- Emptiness: A Practical Guide by Guy Armstrong (good introduction to the Buddhist version of reality)
- Books by Loch Kelly (practical guide to non-dual meditation practices within Buddhism; The Little Book of Being by Diana Winston may be a better introduction)
- Seeing that Frees by Rob Burbea (really advanced but profound)
- http://awakeningtoreality.blogspot.com/2007/03/thusnesss-six-stages-of-experience.html (Buddhism > Advaita)
- Books by Robert Bruce such as Psychic Self-Defence and Energy Work
- Psychic Witch by Mat Auryn
- Dream Yoga by Andrew Holecek (amazing/practical book on lucid dreaming -> dream yoga)
- Autobiography of a Yogi
- The Practice of Brahmacharya by Swami Sivananda and Soaring Eagle (https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/6-years-clean-rebooting-as-the-best-remedy.135983/) if you haven’t read already
- Xunzi trans. by Eric Hutton (final evolution of Confucianism)
http://gen.lib.rus.ec/fiction/? for foreign literature
- Musashi by Eiji Yoshikawa (Taiko is decent as well, but this one was a masterpiece)
- Romance of the Three Kingdoms trans. Moss Roberts
- The Dream of the Red Chamber trans. David Hawkes (read it in the summer of 2017, profound but not all may see the deeper meaning)
- The Nine Cloud Dream trans. Heinz Insu Fenkl
- Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand (Inspirational for Entrepreneurs, however don’t start adopting this book as economic philosophy. It’s just a novel!)
- The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho (read now if you are experiencing an existential crisis)
- Dostoevsky’s Crime and Punishment + The Brothers Karamazov (optional reading; prefer Pevear translation)
- Perry Mason and Sherlock Holmes Series (pleasure reading but not useless)
- Getting Past Your Past by Francine Shapiro (by the founder of EMDR, best practical book on trauma and exercises to resolve it)
- Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving (another immensely practical book on recovering from trauma)
- Breaking the Cycle by George Collins (best practical workbook on sexual addiction I have read; all should read)
- Get out of your mind and into your life by Steven Hayes (Was mentioned in the charisma myth booklist; take control of your thoughts and mind by the founder of ACT)
- Mindful Compassion by Paul Gilbert and Choden (prominent researcher on compassion applied to therapy; part one can be boring, but part two on practical exercises is invaluable)
- Feeling Book by David Burns (rightfully a classic book on therapy and CBT; read if you are suffering from depression)
- Healing Development Trauma by Laurence Heller (best book on the impact of childhood/development trauma but meant for therapists, might explain why we use addiction to cope from childhood memories; google ACE study as well)
- The Boy who was raised as a Dog by Bruce Perry (stories about children experiencing trauma. Increases empathy for yourself and others; you realize how childhood trauma affects how a lot of people think and behave)
- Whole Again: Healing Your Heart and Rediscovering Your True Self After Toxic Relationships and Emotional Abuse by Jackson MacKenzie (fantastic book on recovering from relationship abuse. Many of us have emotional baggage that fuels coping and addiction loops. Read Healing from Hidden Abuse by Shannon Thomas as well.)
- Self-Compassion by Kristen Neff (optional reading, but complimentary)
https://www.reddit.com/kundalini/comments/1unyph/a_tantric_perspective_on_the_use_of_sexual_energy/ (tantric meditation/sexual transmutation technique that actually works; you are supposed to do it for 1 hour. Optional.)
https://www.reddit.com/kundalini/comments/2zn8ev/grounding_201_two_effective_quick_methods/ (energetic protection + grounding method after doing the tantric meditation)
Avoid learning Mantak Chia’s techniques from a book, since some have suffered side-effects to their energetic/biological body. For NEO, Tibetan buddhists practice meditation for 13 years before attempting it (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karmamudr%C4%81). Not easy. Not sure about women, since SR streak is more important. Don’t pick a partner to fulfill some kind of emotional void, or due to societal programming where women are held to be the ultimate goal. Spiritual Enlightenment is the ultimate goal now, but even enlightened people need money for food and shelter.
Youtubers I follow are Graham Stephan, Ryan Serhant, Rupert Spira, and https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCUX1V5UNWP1RUkhLewe77ZQ (cured women objectification for me; wholesome content) although mostly I avoid the website. Easy to loose track of time.
Avoid smoking, alcohol, recreational drug use (https://www.elitedaily.com/wellness/drugs-alcohol-aura-damage/1743959), casual sex (https://mywakingpath.wordpress.com/tag/aura/; sensitive images but useful), and fast food. Budget your money, and learn how to save as much as possible.
Hope everyone reading this post experiences their definition of success and leads a purposeful life. Will end it by stating two quotes that have inspired and guided me:
“You yourself have to change first, or nothing will change for you!”
― Hideaki Sorachi
“It is not important to be better than someone else, but to be better than you were yesterday.”
― Jigoro Kano (Founder of Judo)
Update 1: Added the audio file as well to the mega link
Update 2: https://starseedsunited.com/negative-entities-and-psychic-attacks (basic article on entities)
Some solutions are posted above. Updated* daily routine:
- https://www.reddit.com/kundalini/comments/1xyp5k/a_simple_and_universal_white_light_protection/ (basic psychic self-defence)
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Kt9s5tY1YE (at least once everyday; cures sexual dreams and flushes all entities)
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yLeubTQv65Q (best shielding subliminal so far; general protection. Listen at least once everyday)